“Happiness is a choice.” If you’ve ever listened to a self-help guru or optimistic person, you’ll have heard this statement. Many respond with, “Easy for you to say…you have ______. If I had that, I’d be happy, too,” or its opposite, “But you don’t have _______. If you had that, you wouldn’t be happy, either.” To many, happiness seems to be a matte...
Read More“Honesty is the best policy.” “Always tell the truth; that way, there’s less to remember.” Everyone spouts the benefits and importance of honesty. But is it really ethical to be open and honest all the time? No, no it’s not. Let me explain. There are two factors at play in this: ethics and emotions. Ethics are rules you follow to minimize har...
Read MoreLonging. We all know the feeling: having a strong desire for something you can’t have. But do you have to feel that way? Let’s explore. I’ve been criticized in the past for stating what is basically common sense—of course, I’ve also had my brushes with people who vehemently oppose my “hot takes” (go figure). One of those biggest hot takes come...
Read MoreYes, I know the title is a little too cute and seemingly paradoxical. But the truth is that happiness is a choice as much as it is a response to external stimuli. Give me a moment to explain how emotions work in humans vs. earlier organisms, and you’ll understand why the title is not a paradox nor a tautology but rather an explanation of—and a pr...
Read MoreHumans are a social species. As such, they are naturally drawn to human interaction. Small talk, for example, is the ultimate example of picking inconsequential topics to discuss to begin conversations and develop relationships with others. As people get to know each other, they can then move into more sensitive or in-depth topics with a greater...
Read MoreRoger Ebert is famously quoted as saying, “Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.” This is an important point about feelings because your emotions are giving you critical feedback about three things: your experiences (e.g., “AHHHH!!! I’m on fire!”), your desires (e.g., “I really could go for a cheeseburger right...
Read MoreMany people think that their emotional state is almost exclusively due to the reality that they are experiencing. After all, basic biology and psychology teach the classic “stimulus-response” model in living organisms where a change in the environment will trigger a response in the affected creature. This is mostly true, as life forms that did no...
Read MoreEveryone knows that people love a good story. It helps them learn, remember things, and stay engaged in a presentation or conversation. But why is it such a more impactful way to convey information than simply stating facts, such as “2+2=4”? Because the story is a journey, and effective engagement, influence, and relationship-building follows th...
Read MoreBeing the most controversial assertion in The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose, this blog post is probably long overdue. There is a long-standing belief that the meaning of life is to be happy, and much of positive psychology is focused on maximizing happiness as a result.
Read More“Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop.” You might have heard this saying, which summarizes well the downsides of boredom. Boredom is an emotional response to the lack of novelty, challenge, or engagement coming from a person’s surroundings, and it is a very important mechanism for keeping people and animals engaged in play and other activities tha...
Read More