Most people are probably familiar by now the famous hypothetical question, “If you had three wishes, what would you ask for?” with the “trick answer” being, “To be happy.” Because that is what people are ultimately seeking (seek pleasure, avoid pain). John Lennon is credited with telling a story about completing a school assignment where they...
Read MoreI presented my findings on the eight drivers of someone’s sense of meaning and purpose in life, and someone immediately said that they could summarize it all in one idea: The Law of Attraction. Although the statement was incorrect—the Law of Attraction only covers 3-5 drivers at most (desire, belief, emotions, and as a stretch support and choice...
Read MoreChoice and control are interesting concepts. There are things within your control and things outside of your control. When you have capability or control, you then have a choice as to what to do. You can go left or right. You can choose to take care of your phone or throw it against the wall for no apparent reason. When you have control, you...
Read MoreOne of the most interesting ideas in positive psychology over the last couple of decades is the idea of “manufactured happiness”—that is, the idea that your brain makes yourself happier as a result of certain behaviors. Daniel Gilbert, who has done a lot of research on happiness and choice, conducted one study on this topic that assessed an...
Read MoreThere’s a saying, “It’s always in the last place you look.” I believe it was Jerry Seinfeld who quickly retorted something along the lines of, “Of course it is; if you kept looking in more places after you found what you were looking for, you’d be a crazy person.” Obviously, the joke is in the double-meaning of “last place you look”—meaning both...
Read MoreIf you ask someone what they are chasing in life, they usually answer one of two things: Now, we all know the happiness paradox: if you chase happiness, you’ll never get it. The reason why people say that is that if you cannot choose to be happy now with what you do have such as your health or family, then nothing can fill that void. It’s why...
Read MoreBlaming others is the fastest, easiest way to avoid responsibility. We all know what it is like for someone to wrong us and for that person to be the reason why we are having a problem. And, if possible, we can try to respond, retaliate, or hold the person accountable. But, there's another side to this, which is what you do afterwards and whether...
Read MoreOne of my favorite memories studying psychology is when I was told about an experiment where the experimenters told people to imagine they had won something (e.g., tickets to a concert, a kiss from their favorite celebrity) and then asked them when they would like to receive it. It's such a fascinating thought experiment because everyone thinks...
Read MoreOne of the more (in)famous analogies from The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life's purpose is the relationship between happiness and growth being like the relationship between grades and learning. The reason for the analogy is that a large portion of the population is married to the idea that happiness is the meaning of life and so no...
Read MoreLife is all about growth, but we live in a world with a near-incalculable (i.e., how many bottom of the ocean?) number of organisms on it, all competing for growth-enabling resources. Trees compete for sunlight, animals compete over food and water, and some animals have to eat others to survive. Naturally, it would seem that the fight-for-your-li...
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