Drama is an interesting (pun intended) concept: the idea of eventful experiences in life that are worth talking about. “Bob went to the store and bought a gallon of milk,” is not interesting. It’s a statement of fact to convey information. Now, one way to spice it up is through plot: “Bob went to the store and bought a gallon of milk only to find out that they didn’t take NFC payments.” In this case, his quest was thwarted and he had an obstacle to overcome. With drama, though, even the most uneventful experiences can become impactful. “Bob went to the store to buy a gallon of milk. It was the first time he had been to the store since she left him, and the one time he made her laugh so hard that milk shot out of her nose will forever bind the thought of milk with her smile.” The event is still the same—Bob is buying milk—but now, what has changed is the significance of the event because of its emotional impact. Drama enhances the emotional state of a situation and makes it feel more important.
The meaning part is most relevant to this blog, and so I’ll mention more about it in a moment. Effectively, it’s about increasing meaning by increasing significance. But there are other elements at play here for why drama is so attractive to people, so let’s start with those to provide context.
The first reason that people love drama is that the human brain desensitizes itself to commonplace events (and, conversely, alerts itself to novel events). If you go to your job or put on your clothes like you have hundreds of times before, you do it on autopilot. So if someone were to explain step by step how they put on their clothes that day, you would be bored to death because you already tune out of that in your own life and, therefore, don’t need to hear someone else talk about it. So something has to be out of the ordinary for it to catch your interest: it might be the first or last time that someone ever put on their clothes or went to work. It might be that after growing up and following the same career path, a son is putting on his father’s uniform. The significance of the event creates drama, and drama creates significance.
The second reason that people love drama is that it is good fodder for conversation at social events. An event where people are standing and talking about a physics class might be boring, but if a man saw his best friend putting his arm around his girlfriend (even in a case of a huge misunderstanding), the suspense from the resulting potential conflict that everyone can sense might imminently erupt is palpable. Now, everyone is talking about what might happen.
The third reason that people love drama is for attention. People who know the obligatory clichéd episodes of medical TV shows where a patient has Munchausen syndrome already know this element well: making yourself look like a victim garners attention, sympathy, and support from others. So if you can dramatize a situation, you can get more of those desirable social benefits from others.
The fourth reason is that it heightens people’s emotional state. People like the feeling of being alive—and they like to feel things in general. That’s why they watch comedies, dramas, thrillers, and horror films for entertainment and why they like to do everything from take drugs to have sex to cut themselves. People like to feel things because they enjoy the experience of “being alive”—extreme bouts of love, hate, etc. all make your life feel more lively (hence the term “lively”).
And, as I mentioned at the beginning, drama is tied to significance and so they work together to inject a situation with meaning. Hopefully, as it should be, a situation creates the appropriate amount of drama: a graduation brings a dramatic feeling of accomplishment; a death brings the appropriate dramatic sense of mortality. Drama is how people give meaning to their lives as they feel that what they’re doing is, in fact, significant. It’s why rewording someone who works in a fast-food restaurant as, “I feed hundreds of people every day who don’t have time to cook,” is much more significant than, “I flip burgers.” The former might sound melodramatic, but it is a way of articulating the truth that brings out the real significance of what a person is doing when it would otherwise be belittled by more derogatory descriptions. The ability for a situation to be or be viewed as more significant makes it more meaningful and, therefore, fulfilling.
However, it unfortunately works both ways: one can dial up the drama for the sole purpose of making it seem more significant than it actually is. Social media has taken this capability to the extreme. Celebrities can write a simple post like, “It’s over,” as a way to build drama. “What’s over? His relationship? His life? His career? OMG!!!” and have all of the Internet debating what is happening in their lives. People use language and hyperbole to enhance otherwise monotonous activities. For example, if someone steps on your shoe, you could say, “You invaded my personal space, asshole!” (language—technically true, but if it were in public it was likely a socially acceptable distance and just an accidental misstep) or, “Those were my father’s shoes—you disrespect him, and you disrespect me! This is the biggest offense you can show me!” (hyperbole—he probably had no idea or intention about the shoes’ significance, it was probably an accident, and it likely was not the worst offense ever) to dial up the drama. Is it ridiculous? Maybe, but now we have conflict and everyone’s emotional state is now heightened due to the drama. In slang terms, “Shit just got real.” (another fun figure of speech that equates heightened emotional situations with life or reality)
Probably the most infamous in modern times is the “Karen”—a woman that takes a commonplace inconvenience and turns it into the greatest injustice of all time by “speaking to the manager” to have it rectified. Of course, the situation can’t just be calmly and kindly handled—it has to be handled with emotion and righteous indignation. Also known as drama. And most women and children know that tears can be used to get their way (not so much for men, unfortunately for them—imagine a man crying in public for a reason other than a severe injury or loss and wondering whether someone would help or make fun of them). People intuitively know that drama increases the significance and use it to their advantage.
You see drama everywhere to get your attention and interest: gossip, arts and entertainment, advertising, relationships, social events, and social media all use this concept. Gossip is possibly the one you know but don’t think about: “Did you see Bob got a new watch?” isn’t typically considered gossip, but, “Did Judy hook up with Jake?” is. Why? Because the former is primarily information and not meant to stir up emotion, whereas the latter is more about the drama and is meant to stir emotion (the more negative the topic (e.g., someone’s failures or embarrassing moments), the more it is considered to be gossip).
So what can we learn from what is and is not dramatic and how people use drama to get your attention and, possibly, manipulate you? Well, first off, you can learn about what means something to you based on what you think is deservedly dramatic. That’s why deaths, graduations, marriages, divorces, retirements, etc. are all considered to be significant: they are important events and, therefore, are emotional. Secondly, you can learn what you are interested in: what makes you feel alive? Is it painting a picture or visiting an art gallery that stirs your emotions, or is it building a home or solving a mathematical equation. There could be emotion, beauty, or interest in anything that you find to be important. Finally, you can use drama in positive ways and learn to avoid being susceptible to them being used on you in negative ways. Positive ways include engaging speeches and compelling conversations; negative ways include manipulation, deception, and attention-seeking.
In short, drama makes life interesting (and an interesting life makes drama), but it is important to be careful not to introduce it unnecessarily because of the social repercussions. You can use what you now know about drama to seek life experiences that stir your passions, which is a great way to live life to the fullest, and hopefully you can use this knowledge to avoid life experiences and people that try to stir up drama for their own benefit (possibly, at your expense). Too little drama, and you might find your life to be boring; too much, and it’ll be emotionally exhausting. Only you can know what the right amount of drama is for you, but try to stick to the good and real kind; the fake, negative kind (e.g., “rage-baiting”, sympathy-garnering, emotionally manipulating) are a double-edge sword that can make your life more interesting at the risk of losing friends (e.g., from “crying wolf” too often) and making enemies (e.g., gossiping about someone, playing the victim).