Why Persistence Generally Leads to Success

“You’re a pushy little bastard, ain’t ya? But I like that…I like that!” — John Kreese, The Karate Kid

Successful people often point to their persistence as what leads to success. Most people think of persistence as just keep trying until you eventually succeed, but then there’s the “insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” advice that seems to contradict it. Not to mention that most people rely on motivation to take action in life, and yet persistence is the idea that you push through setbacks that cause most people’s motivation to falter. So, it’s actually a lot more interesting to dissect persistence than you might think. What is actually behind persistence, and how do you use that knowledge to actually be persistent when, by definition, it requires you to stare obstacles, setbacks, and rejection in the face and continue on when most people would give up?

Let me put a quick disclaimer up front that I’m referring to a healthy persistence toward a goal and not to any kind of criminal persistence like harassment, stalking, or trespassing. You can be persistent toward a desired outcome in ways that do not require encroaching on anyone else’s freedom of association. So, let’s set those aside. If you want a relationship but someone else doesn’t, persistence in the way I’m using it in this post means “getting back on the horse” and seeking a new partner, not bullying or guilting the same person into changing their mind.

With that out of the way, let’s break down persistence conceptually. It’s actually very similar to the emotional formula I’ve articulated in my book and in previous blog posts, so let’s start with that formula for reference:

Emotions = Desire + Belief + Experience

For anyone who is new to that formula, you can properly understand your emotional state and what is causing it by connecting how you feel to what you want, what you believe, and what you’re experiencing—every single time. For example, if you’re jealous (emotion), you want a person or thing (desire), believe that you should have it and not whoever actually has it (belief), and are experiencing the reality of seeing the person or thing that you don’t have. If you don’t want to feel that way, all you can do is change those three things over time: want something else, believe that it’s not what you really want or accept that you can’t have it, or focus your thoughts and attention elsewhere. So, you can see how understanding how emotions work allows you to then take action to manage your emotions at any given time.

Now, let’s look at the formula for persistence:

Persistence = Desire + Belief + Consistent Experience

Surprisingly, it’s the same formula with just one addition: consistency. How is that possible? Well, if you want something, believe you can do it, and therefore continue to work toward the goal, that is how you be persistent. So, just like with how you change your emotional state, you can build your persistence by wanting something badly enough, believing that you can succeed if you keep trying, and practicing until you get it right. Any loss of persistence is a change of those three things.

Note: This works for the breaking the bad persistence mentioned above: if someone doesn’t like you or want to be around you, you need to change your beliefs to include that they want you to leave so that you leave them alone instead of bothering them.

So, if you want to be persistent, those are the three areas you need to focus on. Let’s go through examples of how to drive each:

• Desire – At any moment when times get tough, remember why you’re doing something. You know the famous movie trope where a protagonist is about to give up hope and then looks at a photo of his or her family and keeps going? That’s building desire to persist.
• Belief – This is where persistence is usually lost. When things don’t work out and you’re not sure how to overcome the setbacks or obstacles you face, that’s when your belief starts to change. “I’ll never figure this out.” “This doesn’t work.” “I tried that, and I still failed.” Those beliefs start to form based on the reality, and they lead to the conclusion that you can’t do it. To overcome this, you need to separate the setbacks from the idea of final failure. There are thousands of ways to get to most goals, so one way not working out shouldn’t lead you to jump to the conclusion that nothing will ever work out. The generalization that one failure equals will always fail is what causes the loss of belief. Break this up to avoid losing faith.
• Consistent Experience – It’s no coincidence that consistent experience is both how you grow and get better and how you are persistent. Since you get better with practice, then consistently practicing will help you to consistently improve. Routine/Habituation, discipline, and commitment are all examples of how you build this element. You don’t have to go all “burn the boats” (i.e., where you eliminate all other options) to succeed, but may people use that method to force themselves to do what they commit to doing.
  

So, all you need to do to be persistent is to maintain the desire, belief, and exposure to the experience long enough to keep trying. That is literally it.

Note that there’s a difference between persistence and stubbornness, though. Persistent people will try different approaches, learn from their mistakes, and take breaks. Stubborn people will keep trying the same thing, not learn, change, or adapt, and keep going even when it’s not wise to in the moment. So, don’t conflate the two ideas: persistence is simply keeping at a task or goal until you figure it out and get what you want; stubbornness is doing something that won’t get you the outcome you want and refusing to change, compromise, or be diplomatic no matter what it might benefit you to do so. Persistent people see different approaches or a compromise as a potential step forward or improvement to their current situation; stubborn people see it as a loss or unnecessary concession.

Now that you understand persistence, you can apply it effectively in your life. Identify something you want, build the desire for it and belief in it, and then have plans for both working consistently toward the goal and working constructively and productively through adversity. Since setbacks, obstacles, and failures are the enemy of persistence, the key to success is knowing how to manage your desire, beliefs, and experiences when the results don’t come easily and immediately to you.