There is a statement that will tell you everything you need to know about life. It explains the point and, therefore, how to approach it. It’s three simple words: “And then what?” When you understand this statement, you’ll understand life.
There’s a famous video game series, Civilization, where the goal of the game (one of them, at least) was to advance your society’s technology to the point of winning the space race and shuttling a group of people to Alpha Centauri to colonize another planet. Once you completed that, the game was over, the credits rolled, and you received a score reflecting how well you played. When people ask me what the meaning of life is (and are referring to the goal that everyone should have), I jokingly retort that it’s to win the space race and land a colony on Alpha Centauri. Obviously, that’s not the meaning of life, but it’s an intentional wrong answer meant to trigger one (or both) of two responses: “What? That’s what I’m supposed to do with my life?” and/or “And then what?” The former points to the fact that everyone’s goal is different and so there’s no single universal one for everyone, and the latter points out that there is no end goal to life—no matter what outcome you can think of, there will always be another possible outcome after that. Those two points are critical to understanding life and what you’re trying to do.
In asking what “the” goal of life should be, they are demonstrating that a. they don’t get that everyone has their own goals and b. they want someone else to tell them the “right” answer for them instead of deciding for themselves. But the latter is even more interesting: it’s indicative that they’re about to turn the corner on getting the fact that there is no final outcome. Life is not a bachelor’s degree where you go for four years and you’re done forever. It’s everything: learning, loving, living, dying. And it doesn’t stop until you’re dead. For your first few years, you’ll learn how to walk, talk, behave, and form friendships. Later, you’ll develop skills, relationships, and responsible habits. Eventually, you’ll shift that focus on developing the next generation through raising children, teaching apprentices, or sharing your experiences with others. Eventually, you’ll sit back and keep yourself occupied with a variety of activities that you might’ve kept putting off in life. And when it ends, it ends. But until that final day, there will always be something else for you to do. “And then what?” is the insight you need to shape your life: you’ll have a goal, work toward it, and then find and work on the next thing once that has been attained. That’s how it works. Growth—i.e., the pursuit of better outcomes for yourself and others—is the point of life. It’s not the outcome. Yes, it’s a cliché that life is a journey, not a destination, but it’s famous because it’s true: the growth journey is the point.
So you should set your sights on whatever the most interesting and important goal you have is for you and work as hard as you can toward it. Once you’ve attained it, though, be ready to find the next thing. There is no, “Well, I did that, and I lived happily ever after.” “Happily ever after” is for fairy tales—happiness is a temporary feeling that goes away so that you have the motivation to strive for the next thing. Yes, you can be generally positive about your life forever, but you can’t constantly and without wavering be happy 24/7–your other emotions exist for the sole purpose of telling you what is going on in your environment (experiences) in relation to your desires and beliefs. You should generally be positive whenever you can, but it’s okay to be sad or upset when the situation calls for it until you address the issue and can return to your generally positive state.
But it’s the idea that there will always be more to do, more challenges to overcome, and more goals to attain that makes life interesting. You might work toward something and completely change direction midstream. Some of the most famous people in history achieved greatness by accident: rubber, penicillin, and even silly things like Phil Collins’s famous drum fill in his signature song, In the Air Tonight, are accidents that become immortalized for their impact. So you can go after your goals, achieve them, and move on to something else or you can work toward something, completely change direction, and accomplish something you never expected with your life. But no matter what you do, there will always be something else. Yes, you might not be as famous for it (see Billy Joel or Peyton Manning where they’ll be defined by their performance at the height of their artistic/athletic entertainment careers) or it might not feel as big of a deal as something you attained earlier in life, but it’ll still be your “And then what?” moment when you’ll have found that next thing to do in your life that interests you.
So, no matter where you decide to go in life, remember that it’s okay if you attain it and need something else to do or never attain it because you found something else that captured your attention. Because “And then what?” is the point: continuing the journey as long as it’ll have you on it. “And then what?” indeed. Set your goals, work toward them, and then keep going. Because it’s not over until it’s over, so you’ve better find that next thing to do. There are no credits rolling after your biggest mid-life achievement, and there is no happily ever after from one single life event. Your life will keep going, and so will your interest in new goals and experiences.