You know the cliché 80s montages, right? The one where the protagonist has an urgent goal, a burning desire, and the belief that, with enough work, they can succeed. So they buckle down and put in the work until they are ready, at which point the day of the text or competition arrives and they succeed. Audiences love those kinds of movies because they’re inspirational and motivational, they tell a powerful story of hard work and overcoming adversity, and they see the rewards and benefits of working toward a goal in life.
The weird thing about life is that everyone wants the final outcome, but for some reason everyone is allergic to the process it takes to get there. You see how many times people have to be reminded of this, from featuring the point in the children’s stories like The Little Red Hen to cliché advice like, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” People have to be reminded because we live in a world now where pleasure is a simple dopamine hit away for just about everyone in the form of social media, movies and television shows, and video games. Work often consists of memorizing facts in school or repeating the same task over and over again in a factory or retail store. As life has gotten better and more convenient, the idea of having to work hard for a long-term outcome seems almost like a foreign concept since the next artificial high is a button-click away.
But striving to attain a life goal is one of the most fulfilling things you can do as a human being, whether it’s growing up and earning a good income to afford a spouse, children, house, two cars, and pet…or simply trying to be the best in a field or sport. The feeling of improvement doesn’t have the same high as eating a meal or drinking alcohol, but it is a positive experience. Instead of pleasure, you get rewarding feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment.
Unfortunately, people are losing sight of the power of The Strive. They’re looking at the state of the world today, whether it’s having a huge portion of their paychecks going to taxes so that the government controls things that they can’t or the fact that everyone’s so hypnotized, deluded, and jaded by social media that they can’t have meaningful social relationships, and they’re wondering what the point of effort is when there are so many things outside of their control. They also have so much instant gratification that the idea of working toward a long-term goal seems like it lacks any near-term benefits. Even methodologies like Agile development, while hugely valuable and well-meaning, can sometimes have the unfortunate consequence of people getting too addicted to the immediate-benefit-or-it’s-not-worth-doing mindset.
The point is not to dwell upon how the world today is a paradox of life being easier than ever with people being more miserable than ever; it’s to point out that the adage, “Hard times create strong men; strong men create good times; good times create weak men; weak men create hard times,” has one viable point that you can take without having to put yourself through hard times: the thing that creates the strong person is striving to attain a difficult goal. In war times, for example, it’s to defeat an enemy or be destroyed. It’s great that humans don’t have to do that as often as they used to, but you can get the same urgency in your life by identifying an aspirational goal that requires incredible discipline, effort, and focus to attain: be a worthy mate, have a family, get a high-paying job, run for office, start a business, or win a championship. It’s about setting a high bar that will push you into very, very hard times trying to achieve them, which will forge you into a strong human that can create good times for yourself and others. The strive is the idea that if you want something badly enough, you will put in the work over a long period of time to get it. Whether it’s Count of Monte Cristo-level dedication to build an empire to show up your enemies (I know it’s a revenge story, but while revenge is a great motivator, it’s ultimately unfulfilling to harm others—focus on building yourself up) or the burning desire shown in an 80s sports film, the idea of striving to attain a goal in life puts you on a path to purpose, discipline, fulfillment, focus, and rewarding effort, which will counteract pleasure-seeking, depression, aimlessness, indecision, and general anxiety about your life.
So, the big question for this post is, what is The Strive for you? What is a burning desire that you have that you would “pay the price” to get? Is it going to the gym to build muscle to feel better and/or attract a mate? Is it being good at your favorite sport? Is it developing the skills necessary to secure your dream job? Is it earning enough money to not have to cook for yourself? What is it that you see in your life that is worth striving for?
The Strive is something that can change your life. It can give you meaning and direction, it can clear up emotional issues, and it can make you feel alive. Life is growth, and for growth to occur, you have to move from a current state to a future state. The strive is simply identifying that desired future state and building the desire and belief to get there by putting mental and physical effort toward it. Want to be an author? Try writing an outline or a chapter for a couple of hours. Want to go back to school? Spend a little time researching fields you’re interested in. Find something you want to strive for and try working toward it to see what happens. Do you feel the spur of excitement and anticipation that comes with visualizing having something you want or making progress toward a goal? Does it feel more rewarding than more pleasure-inducing activities like watching YouTube videos? What is worth striving for to you, and how can you start on your path of striving to achieve a goal you have?
While your life isn’t a montage—unfortunately, you have to do the work in more than 2-minute increments—the good news is that your body rewards you for effort with a sense of purpose and a sense of accomplishment. It’s a less acute but longer-lasting feeling that staves off the general “bleh” feeling associated with floating aimlessly in life living for the next temporary high. If you are lost in life, you should try it. Find something to strive toward, and accept the work as a necessary and not miserable activity. Remember that the difference between work and play is simply whether you like doing the activity and whether you choose to do it (vs. being obligated to, as Mark Twain famously wrote in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer). Find a goal that gives you a burning desire to attain and take a step toward it. Whether it’s as simple as saving enough money to go see your favorite musician in concert or as big of a deal as learning more about fields you’re interested in pursuing professionally, finding that thing to strive for can get you out of a funk, increase your sense of purpose, and jumpstart your journey toward a fulfilling life. Once you learn how The Strive works to give you a greater sense of purpose, you can use it for the rest of your life, whether it’s to pursue personal goals or to have “greater purpose” of helping your family, friends, community, or society through your efforts. No matter what, The Strive can be exactly the thing you need in your life to fill the emptiness that you might be experiencing in your life. Find it and use it.