When I explain how the meaning of life is growth, it is one of those moments where it’s both too obvious and simple to want to believe but also too vague and non-specific to be satisfying. Unfortunately, no matter how much scientific evidence you have, people will always fall back on their emotions about whether something feels right.
Naturally, the question that comes from that lack of satisfaction is, “Growth toward what?”—also known as, “To what end?” I’ve spoken recently about universal goals (e.g., health, wealth, relationships) at length, so rather than talk about what possible goals exist, I want to talk about how to identify goals that you would find meaningful.
There are two elements to goals: desirability and believability. Why? Because goals, by definition, have to be something that you do not currently have and so need to move toward to attain. If you’re hungry, for example, you want food and, therefore, act to acquire it. Once your goal has been obtained, the desire goes away and you move on to something else.
So, you have to identify something that you don’t currently have that you want and work toward it. That’s where desirability and believability come in. You move toward things you want and away from things you don’t want. You really don’t want a shark bite, so you would flee a shark. But you only find bug bites annoying, so you swat them away but otherwise accept that they are the price of being outside in the summer for a long time. Conversely, you want money, so you are willing to work for it, but you might only sometimes be in the mood to eat funnel cake and so only buy it when you’re at a carnival. The level of desirability of a goal or outcome affects the level of effort or investment you are willing to make to attain your goal.
The believability is more about the probability of attaining the goal given your ability to meet its requirements. Eating a meal might require you to simply walk to the refrigerator and get some. However, becoming president of the United States might require decades in politics plus over half of the voting population’s support to win. The less believable something is, the less likely you will see it being worth the effort to attain.
Ideally, growth is its own reward. People eat because they enjoy eating in addition to its nutritional value. People exercise for the endorphin chemicals and physique as well as because of the sense of progress and accomplishment in lifting heavy weights or running a far distance. People paint because it makes them feel like they are expressing themselves—some people create something only to paint over it when they’re done, for example.
However, it is often important to have a strong purpose for the moments when the experience is not its own reward. For example, you might not love the experience of learning a language, but if you book a trip to a foreign country, you are suddenly highly motivated to take lessons so that you know enough to ask where the bathroom is or order food. That desirable outcome can enhance your drive to grow toward the goal (in this case, learning a language to have a great experience on your vacation).
So, that’s the balance that you are striking: the enjoyment or fulfillment you get from doing things and the enjoyment and fulfillment you get from attaining or obtaining things. You might like to sit on the beach and relax for a while, for example, which is good for your physical, mental, and emotional health (and social or relationship health if it’s with friends or family). But, as many retirees will tell you, doing nothing is great when you need rest and relaxation but gets old quickly (from anecdotal observation, about two months). So, pleasurable things are good for an immediate happiness boost, but they are short-lived. Alternatively, you could do fulfilling things like volunteer work and feel great about yourself and what you have done, but it might be tiring and so you will need rest. Notice the ebb and flow of fulfilling work and pleasurable rest and recovery.
Similarly, it’s nice to have long-term goals and short-term goals to balance the feeling of progress with a feeling of accomplishment. You want to maximize your desire with a long-term goal but maximize your belief with an attainable short-term goal. You want to maximize your sense of purpose with the most important thing you can think of, but you want to maximize your feeling of productivity and value by doing something in the moment that seems to matter.
This is the optimal growth strategy: purpose that maximizes your drive and fulfillment; activities and outcomes that maximize your ability and your happiness along the way. Growth is the point, but it helps you to do your best when you enjoy the journey and the stops or achievements along the way.
So, when someone asks you what you are working toward, you should have a variety of answers:
When you have those items, you will understand how you are continuously growing, living life, and moving toward things that will make you happy and make your life better. That is the point, and that is how you figure out “to what end” you are doing anything. That “end” can always be changing and evolving; it is the fact that you are always contributing to your own life’s success story that will lead to your sense of meaning and fulfillment.